I happen to be married to a classic introvert (someone who is usually drained, rather than energized, by large groups of people), while I tend to be much more outgoing. I don't like being alone with nothing to do, because then I just waste time on the Internet until I get a tension headache from staring at a screen, but planned downtime with a movie, a book, or a long walk is wonderful. One-on-one time together is crucial for any romance, but introverts and extroverts often have different ideas of what that should look like. If you're dating someone who values deep, intimate connections but is stressed out by short, casual interactions with lots of people, don't throw a huge party as a way of introducing your love to your work, grad school, college, and book club buddies in one fell swoop.
In my book, I tell the story of a husband who wanted to host a dinner party every Friday night, and a wife who hated giving parties.Introverts, on the other hand, often feel grateful that their extroverted partners make the atmosphere light-hearted and casual – and that they do so much of the talking.But these mixed-type couples can run into a predictable set of misunderstandings. How much to socialize: What do you do when one person wants to go out and the other to stay home?“Because they are energized by socializing, they will adore you if you enjoy hanging out with their friends as well.If you are going to fall in love with them, you’ll have to fall in love with their friends too.” Indeed, double dates are a good idea if you’re dating an extrovert, suggests Stef Safran, a matchmaker and dating expert in Chicago: “Pair up with friends and go out on a group date so that you know you will have someone to talk to if your extroverted partner starts socializing with someone else.” “It’s usually pretty easy to be around an extrovert if you’re not one,” says dating expert Gina Stewart.