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If you try this and it feels awkward to you, then you might consider taking her sage advice on overcoming verbal shyness: If you're so shy that words just won't come out, start with sounds. Otherwise, you run the risk of putting your partner on the spot, perhaps rendering him or her as tongue-tied as you're trying to learn not to be!

Erotic moans and murmurs can turn a lover on as much as naughty stories, and they're a wonderful way for you to get used to making some noise. Especially if you think erotic words or phrases while you coo and gasp, you will find that as you get more turned on, the words will superimpose themselves onto the sounds. Even if you and your partner have never masturbated in each other's presence, you might want to try it over the phone.

Nothing’s better than the headline, “The reason people are [bad quality that describes you] is actually because they’re [good quality].” I got reading.

Pre-Post Note: I started working on this post ten weeks ago.

When I started, I never intended for it to become such an ordeal.

Today I can ask for exactly what I want sexually, and learn my partner's preferences, via direct questioning and fantasy talk - as well as through non-verbal ways of communicating. Arrange a time you can feel comfortable exploring telephone play.

I know that communicating this way will maintain - even heighten - our level of arousal. Queen suggests (among other things) becoming more comfortable with erotic talk by talking to yourself while masturbating. If your partner has requested phone sex or dirty talk, great - but you might still want to talk about it before you start dialing, if only to reassure yourself that the timing is right and that your lover's response will be positive.

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